Every Wall has a Crack
by Kaydee
Summary: Lily Evans, a girl who was one of the most popular girl in Hogwarts.But in the second year that all changed. Leaving her bestfriends and loves to try an dfind out what went wrong as Lily shut herself out from the world completely.
1. Lily

The Past: What really Happened  
  
Chapter one-Lily  
  
Lily Evans, a girl who knows not who she is, or who she should be. A girl who's scared to face reality. No ones knows why Lily's like this, because know one knows her past. What she blames herself for, which she has no control over. She's beautiful, that's for sure, but no one has seen this. For books and school work hide her beauty. Two boys though, they knew the real her. Although that's what they tought.  
  
Lily's the smartest fifth year in Hogwarts, which shows since she's skipped a whole year, and they feel she should be in seventh year, but Dumbledore has different plans for Ms. Evans, that only he knows about.  
  
Lily's room in Hogwarts is away from all the rest, though in Gryffindor she stays away from the population. Dumbledore, since Lily's second year has given her this room, only at her request.  
  
Lily has only a father, a horrible man. He has no respect for her what so ever. Lily's sister Peutina, she hasn't seen since her wedding last year. Lily's mother died, giving birth to Lily. Which her Dad blames Lily for, but Lily doesn't understand how she killed her mother, and when she was so young.  
  
From first to second year Lily was popular, James Potter and Sirius Black being her best friends. In second year Lily blocked all them out. Only because Lily had another best friend she had known her whole life. Joey Porter. A sweet girl who was not Lily's best friend, but Lily's sister. Not blood related as they thought they should have been, but only soul related.  
  
Since birth Lily has been special. Being able to move objects with her mind, and use her hands not wand as her source of magic. Knowing she had these special powers, she tried to hide them, feeling people would act strange around her.  
  
Dumbledore, since Lily's birth had known that a Dark Lord would soon be coming after her, trying to hurt all those around her. Just to get close enough to her to attack. He never told Lily of his thoughts, feeling she would block out the world entirely. What Dumbledore didn't know is that, Lily in a way knew what he was thinking. She knew he was after her, and what would come if she kept her friends close.  
  
In Lily's second year, Joey seemed to know what was coming for her. Trying to tell Lily to leave her alone, just forget about her. In a way Dumbledore knew she was different, just like Lily. After Lily wouldn't leave Joey alone, knowing Joey's faith Lily started to crumble. Joey only a month after she knew her time would soon be up.  
  
After Joey's death, Lily totally crumbled. Blocking out the entire outside world. Letting go of her love for a certain boy, and friendships she would never forget. Dumbledore gave her a separate room when she asked, and he wouldn't give her the other request she asked for. Dumbledore thought it would be good if she continued taking her classes with her old friends, though Lily ignored James and Sirius completely.  
  
Sirius and James, still not giving up. They were a year older than her and showed her all the ropes of the castle. Lily, whenever asked about James or Sirius acted though she'd never even met them. Still sending her Christmas and birthday gifts, she still wouldn't come out of her shell. Sirius and James felt it was there job to find out the truth about her, why she would do this to her best friends.  
  
Now in their fifth year at Hogwarts, since their second year, they haven't given up on Lily. When Dumbledore skipped her a grade James and Sirius knew what he was trying to. They guess they would have to play it by ear. They know whatever it takes for Lily to crack; they'll do it, but how? 


	2. The Meeting

Chapter 2-The Meeting  
  
The beginning of another school year at Hogwarts was starting. Homework, already starting to pile up beside the kids and teens bedside tables. Lily Evans sat quietly on the window sill staring out at the rain, already having her homework done. With her not knowing that their were two eyes on her.  
  
On the other end of the common room, James, Sirius and Remus sat planning. Remus Lumpkin, one of the boys best friends since the third grade, when he came to the school. James and Sirius also had another best friend, Peter Pettrew. He was off doing a detention at the time.  
  
James and his group of boys were planning on a way to make Lily come back, out of her shell. Just to find out what happened, what made her change.  
  
"Okay." James said to the gang. "We have to go to Dumbledore. Come up with a dance plan. Umm.I can sit close to Lily and umm. maybe get him to say that like the first person to ask you you've got to say yes to." "James that maybe a problem, all the girls will come running after you." Remus started to laugh, "That's were we come in you prat." Sirius punched him in the gut. "Stuff it Moony." James coughed, trying to get them back in focus. "What about Dumbledore?" Sirius asked confused. "He probably knows were coming, lets go." As they walked out the door James took one last look at Lily and knew his plan would work.  
  
Lily still looking out at the rain. she wanted to go for a walk, not knowing why in the rain and all, but just went. It was a cold night, and the sky showed barley any stars, but still Lily loved to be out in the rain, with it splashing on her face. Walking out onto the middle of the Qwidditch field she started running around laughing and dancing.  
  
From a castle window Dumbledore watched this young one as she seemed happy only in the rain. Waiting for a little group of eager to get their best friend back. Strait when Dumbledore was thinking these thoughts, a silent knock came to the door. Taking one last look out the window to see a smiling face he said come in.  
  
As his thoughts were correct James, Sirius and Remus all came into the office. Smiles on their faces. "We have a plan." James spoke up not waiting to be asked to take a seat. " I think this one will work." Smiling, the boys explained this plan. Dumbledore looking and listening closely at the boys was very impressed. "Boys, this time I've think you got it. I'll announce it tomorrow at dinner. Make sure to sit right beside Lily. As for know come here I want to show you something." Dumbledore lead the boys to the window. "Look". He said pointing at Lily. "She's happy" All the boys had smiled on the faces, for once in three years, they saw Lily Evan smile.  
  
Thank-You to all my Reviewers:  
  
Lavinia-I'm happy you found it interesting  
  
Chickensoup3- Here's the next chapter, Thanks for reviewing.  
  
Brooke-Thanks for the review and loving my story, I'll have more up soon.  
  
Hina- Thanks for reading and reviewing, and in my story you'll find out about Lily's parents. And I hope you got my e-mail.  
  
Please Keep Reviewing, I love the support and knowing some people read my story, THANKS!  
  
Love; Kaydee 


	3. Rain

Chapter3-Rain  
  
James sat by the window that night, after his meeting with Dumbledore, watching Lily dance in the rain. She looked so sweet and happy, you could have thought she was and angel. "Somehow I will find out the truth about you Lily, you just wait, but as for know, go dance in the rain." James' mates were already up in bed, so James ran to Lily's dorm dropped a piece of paper on her bed, and left the room. Making his way quietly over to his bed, he laid down, staring up at the roof, thinking.  
  
While still outside Lily was dancing in the rain, still smiling and laughing. Then she stopped and sat down in the middle of the Qwidditch field. "I don't undersand." Lily started to sing. "Their's just something about the raiiiiiin, You don't have to go around, Playing in life's little games. Your thoughts their rescued, By the stars above, Knowing you angels, Are watching down on youuuu. I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I'm aliveeeeeeeee, And it fells like it's the very first time. I can run I can play, Knowing tomorrow will be a better day. Myyyy worries their gooooonnnne, As I sing this crazy song, Just wishing no hopiiiiinggggg, For nothing to go wrong. As I sit in the raiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnn, Singing this silent song." Lily finished lying on her back, looking up at the stars. In the rain she felt safe, nothing could go wrong, as is what she sang in her song.  
  
As James, from his bed heard her sing he sat up and sat in the windowsill. Watching her, and listening to her lovely voice, he slowly fell asleep.  
  
After what seemed to be hours of staring up at the stars that were her life, Lily walked inside and up to her dorm. Changing quickly because she was cold. Lying down on her bed, she felt something underneath her. A croubled piece of paper. It read:  
  
Rain;  
  
It must be something about the rain, It seems like your in no pain. As you run around you sing and dance, With your face in some sort of trance. I don't know why you ran away, I guess you just didn't want to stay, But Lily theirs so many things I've got to say. Will you just give me the time to talk, Just try to explain, And try and understand, Why you left me their that day. My cheeks the dried with wind, 'Cause my hearts crying within. Their just something about the rain, I wish it could always stay. I love you Lily, I always have, But it was the rain, It made my mind change, I've go to talk to you, Maybe not today or the next, But you have to listen. I'll take you out. Out the next time it rains.  
  
Love; Jay  
  
Lily crumbled up the poem, she didn't want to cry, not tonight. "He doesn't understand, he's just like me, I'm lost in this rain filled sea." Lily muttered to herself as she fell asleep, not wanting to face the next day. 


	4. Love is the Key that got lost is the Rus...

Every Wall has a Crack  
  
Chapter.4.-Love is the Key that got lost is the Rush  
  
The sun rose over the lofty hills of Hogwarts and the sunshine peered into Lily's window, hitting her curtains. Lily's eyes squinted as she sat up and whispered. "Why must I suffer?" As usual Lily got up and did her morning routine, had a shower, brushed her teach brushed her hair, got dressed, and grabbed her book -bag heading down the dormitory stairs.  
  
The common room was empty and quite, for the sun has just risen. Lily say down in a windowsill far back in the corner of the room. Lily pulled out the poem James had written for her just the other night; she read it over and over again trying to find out some sort of clue. She didn't get it. Why would he write her this? Did he miss me that much? Lily though and then she clued in and her memory came flooding back. I forgot, we were once in love.  
  
Lily raced up into the boys dorm looked at the name plate and made sure it said fifth year and quietly snuck into the room and into James' bed.  
  
"James." Lily shook him. "Prongs get your lazy ass up." James rolled over revealing his washboard bare chest. Lily looked at it for a moment before James whispered.  
  
"Sirius I'm not doing a prank today, go back to sleep." Lily knew all to well that the boys always did pranks in the morning and middle of the night to the slimy Snape. She had no objections to it. She looked down and James and laid down beside him. Somehow his arms wrapped around her and held her to his chest.  
  
"How good it feels to be in your arms again Jay." Lily whispered sweetly into James' eye as she kissed it. At the sound of her voice James eyes shot open and he was about to scream but Lily silenced him with a kiss. Once she pulled away she said.  
  
"I forgot about you James. I blocked you out for so long afraid I was going to hurt you or I was going to get hurt, then I remembered this. The love we always had for each other. I'm sorry James. I read your poem over and over and it finally clicked, you are me James, and I keep on hurting because you're not with me. I'm sorry." Lily whispered. "I'm so so sorry." L:ily whispered into James' mouth as he kissed her again. James' arms pulled her tighter and closer to him, just the way he used to. He pulled away.  
  
"Thanks Lily. Thank-you." James had tears in his eyes, that's why she had been hiding. She didn't want to get hurt. She didn't want to hurt me or anyone around her, but what made her realize to come back? James thought about this then he spoke up.  
  
"Lils." At herein that name Lily smiled, she hadn't been called that in three years.  
  
"What made you come back?" James asked brushing hair out of her face, as a smile came up upon her lips.  
  
"You. Remembering." Lily whispered before James cut in.  
  
"What did you remember?" At the look on James' face Lily giggled a bit before answering.  
  
" The way you looked at me the last day we talked ever . About thr."  
  
"Three years ago I remember, go on." James cut in.  
  
"When Joey died and you knew I blamed it on myself you looked at my with you bright blue eyes, you had so much love and sadness at the same time, and I remember that look. The was the look I saw every time I pass you in the halls. Every time you try and talk to me and I walk away. I just couldn't stand it anymore. I realized I couldn't live without you." Lily sat up knowing she had to leave before the boys waking up and finding her in bed with James Potter, who she hadn't talked to in three years.  
  
"Don't go Lils." James pulled her back down and onto his chest.  
  
I need you. I already lost you once, I'm not going to do it again." He kissed her, Lily was rolled over and know one her back, she pulled away and kissed his lips one more time.  
  
"I have to go." She kissed him again, "I'll see you at breakfast." Lily slid out from under him.  
  
"You better sit with me." James answered. " Or I'll kiss you till you are gasping for air." Lily winked.  
  
"I could always live with that." Lily them walked out of the room.  
  
At breakfast James was looking all over for Lily. Sirius was getting annoyed.  
  
"Who are you looking for Prongs?" Sirius asked with a mouth full of food.  
  
"Lily." Was all James answered. Sirus and Remus looked at him as if he'd gone crazy.  
  
"Lily as in Lily Evans?" Remus chocked.  
  
"Yeah that me, who's asking?" A voice from behind James answered. James turned around and kissed Lily sweetly, before she sat down beside James.  
  
Sirius and Remus had there mouths almost to the floor, what the hell was going on?  
  
~Please Review! Sorry it took so long!~ Kaydee 


	5. Fearless, but fearful

Every Wall has a Crack  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Fearless, but fearful  
  
James woke up in a sweat. He looked around; he was on the common room couch. His watched beeped and he noticed it was Saturday. Jumping up quickly he ran to his bedroom to take a shower. He had to best day yesterday. Lily was back with the Marauders!! James couldn't whip the smile off of his face. He was in heaven. After he had his shower he got dressed and noticed all the Marauders were down at Breakfast.  
Making his way over to the Gryffindor table and sat with Sirius, and Remus, Lily was no where in sight. 'I wonder where she could be.' James thought to himself, as he caught Remus' and Sirius' conversation. "It was good to see her smile again." Sirius smiled brightly remembering Lily face as she was spinning smiling in the rain. "I haven't seen her smile like that since the last time James kissed her." Remus nudged him. "Yeah but that was years ago, it's still good to see her smile again." James was beaming. "What's up with you Prongs?" Sirius looked at a crazed James. "She told me she's sorry, and she kissed me." James' eyes were now sparkling. "No she didn't James, she was down here earlier then she went outside by the lake. She never was in our dorm buddy. Sorry." Remus piped up. He'd been awake since three in the morning with Sirius planning there next prank on Snape; they left James to sleep because he was up stressing about Lily for almost the whole night. "Is she really, well then I have to go talk to her." James got up to leave when Sirius grabbed his arm. "Are you crazy, Prongs? Think about it! Lily hasn't talked to us in three years. THREE!" Sirius screamed holding up three fingers. James looked at him like he was crazy. "No you talked to her yesterday at breakfast, don't you remember Sirius? You and Remus were so jumpy to see her. Don't you remember?" James asked sadly looking at Sirius, who just put his head down. James didn't get an answer out of Sirius so he turned to Remus. "Remus? Remus, don't you remember?" James looked at Remus shaking his head 'No' with his face looking at his plate as though he didn't want James to know the truth. "How can you two not remember?! A girl, the most beautiful and the bestest girlfriend we have every had?! You don't remember Lily?" James looked at there faces. "James calm down, you were dreaming. It was all just a dream." Sirius spoke softly his joker image leaving him for a moment. James shook his head. "I'm going to see Lily." He got up and walked out of the great hall. "Should we follow him?" Remus asked. "No." Sirius said seriously. "He has to do this on his own."  
  
James walked out side and looked to the lake. He saw Lily sitting there, with the sun shinning on her just right. He smiled as she looked like an Angel. He walked up to Lily and stood behind her. She didn't hear him coming as the wind swept in. She shivered and goose bums made there way up her bare arms. All she had on was a running suite. James quietly, not wanting Lily to know he was there he took off his cloak. He went up close behind her putting it around her shoulders saying. "I think it's time we had a talk Lils. It's been three years and I don't think my heart can take any more pain, and my eyes can't take anymore tears, my ears can't take anymore silence and my arms can't stay cold any longer." Lily knew who's voice it was, but she didn't turn around, she found that she couldn't. "Do you know how it feels to be fearless, to be afraid of nothing but what you can't have?" Lily asked James looking out onto the watery sunset. "Yes." James answered as he sat down beside her, but not to close. She still wouldn't look at him. "You." James said as he looked at her. She still kept her gaze on the water. "I keep running." Lily said sadly. "I've been running so long that I forget what I'm running from." Lily laughed at herself. James smiled. "Don't run from me Lils, of all things. Just don't run from me." James looked at the lake as Lily turned to him. "I run from you because you're the one I fear the most." Lily told him. James turned and there eyes met. "What is it about me that you fear?" James looked at Lily, sadly. 'I'm why she's running, and all this time I thought it was Joey dying.' James sighed as Lily begun to speak again. "I fear how you make me feel. I fear how that when I'm with you everything is okay, though the worlds falling apart. I fear your eyes. I fear your touch. I fear you smile. I fear you voice. I fear your hearing. I fear you. How you joke all the time. How you're serious sometimes. I fear how that when I'm near you I'm lost." Lily finished. James looked at her dumbfounded. "How can you be afraid of me so much?" James looked at her sadly. "I'm afraid of you because I love you."  
  
~I'm sorry it took so long to get this up I've just been so buys. All the great movies that have come out lately are amazing and I've seen almost everyone. Thank-You for all the reviews I can't be happier that someone even read this story! Please Revie I love them!~  
  
Kaydee 


	6. A dream Come True,but a memory forgotten

Chapter.6.  
  
A Dream Come true, but a memory yet forgotten  
  
James stared at Lily. Then he took his gaze back to the sun setting across the water.  
  
"You can't run from love Lily, and you can't run from me anymore. I just won't take it. You've  
  
been running to long, you have to stop and see me. I know you Lily. I know your fears, I just  
  
don't want you to fear me. I've lived three years without you, you were my life Lily. When you  
  
blocked me out I thought it was Jo." Lily covered his mouth with her hand. She just shook  
  
her head not looking up at him as his face turned toward her.  
  
"Joey's death did make me block all of you out. When I got over her death after one year of  
  
grieving and burring myself into my studies, I realized how much in love I was with you, and  
  
how much I missed your and Sirius' jokes. I errrr. I just. I just." Lily started to cry and she  
  
pulled her hand away from James's mouth. James grabbed her and entwined there fingers. He  
  
just sat there until Lily looked up. He lifted there joined hands and kissed Lily's.  
  
"Wanna go inside and talk by the warm fire?" Lily shook her head and stood up. She put on  
  
James' cloak right and grabbed his hand again. As another breeze came by he pulled Lily close  
  
and wrapped his arms around her.  
  
"I've missed this." Lily whispered as she look up at James.  
  
"I miss this too." James then used his finger to title her chin up, and leaded in to kiss her. Lily  
  
didn't pull away. When they separated Lily kissed his lips one last time and smiled.  
  
"There's that smile I've missed." James smiled.  
  
"And there's that smile I fear." James just laughed,.  
  
"I'm not so scary anymore am I?" Lily just shook her head and they started to walk back to  
  
the castle.  
  
By the next week everything was perfect. James and Lily were closer than ever and Sirius was  
  
more confused and lost than ever, wait Sirius is always confused. James and Lily never let  
  
anyone in on that conversation they had by the water, not even Sirius who was like blood to  
  
James. The only problem with James' and Lily's relationship was Snape. He'd been watching  
  
Lily very closely since she came out of her shell. Snape's feelings for her were starting to  
  
grow, but Snape feared those feelings. If his friends were to find out he was in love with a  
  
mudblood, his life as he knew it would be over. Secretly Snape would hide in the shadows  
  
watching Lily and James kissing, holding hands and just cuddling. It made him sick. Famous  
  
James Potter always got what he wanted. He already had every girl in school falling over him,  
  
why did he have to choose Lily? It made Snape furious. Snape came up with a brilliant idea,  
  
he'd start sending secret love letters to Lily. He couldn't wait to see James' face.  
  
That morning at breakfast an owl came swooping down onto Lily and that was around James'  
  
waist. James stopped kissing Lily and looked at her.  
  
"Why is there and owl on your arm?" Lily laughed.  
  
"I have no idea, I never get owls." James took the owl onto his arm and took the letter off the  
  
owls leg, which then the owl soared up toward the sky.  
  
From afar Snape was almost bursting with redness. James had the letter in his hand, uh-oh.  
  
"Open it James." Lily said sweetly as she took a sip of her Sprite. James ripped the letter  
  
open, and read it aloud to Lily.  
  
"My dearest Lily flower,  
  
Oh how I've watched you with James, and it breaks my heart. I've forever longed for your love to be mind, once you shell was broken. You ran to James, and still sadly I watch for the sidelines waiting for you to come to your sense.  
  
For ever yours,  
  
Your Secret love"  
  
James closed the letter, and Lily was looking at him like he was crazy.  
  
"No James, what does the letter really say?" James just started at his girlfriend.  
  
"That's what it says Lils; you can even read it yourself." James looked around as he handed  
  
Lily the letter to read. Once she read it she looked at James.  
  
"This has to be a joke, Jay. Who would send me this, other than you or Sirius as a joke?"  
  
James just shook his head because neither he nor Sirius wrote this letter, like Sirius could  
  
think of something like that.  
  
At that very moment Dumbledore stood up and begun to speak.  
  
"A magical fate has happen. About three years ago, on this very day a Miss. Joey Porter died  
  
by the hands of Lord Voldemort. To my knowledge I now know that my assumptions were  
  
wrong. I know of one person who witnessed Miss. Porter's death and to that main, his eyes  
  
were fool, as so were all of our hearts. Miss. Porter was not killed, she is live and is coming  
  
back to Hogwarts. Voldemort curse only made her loose her memory for a year amount of  
  
time. Now that her classes are caught up and her living arrangements are well and running  
  
again, she felt it was time to bring her friends out of heartache. To a Miss. Lily Evans, she  
  
apologizes, and to the boy who watched her die she says, I never forgot you and I'm sorry,  
  
and that she still loves you with all her heart. I will bring this speech to a close, she should be  
  
here any minute." Dumbledore sat back down watching to cretin students of his.  
  
Lily's breath was caught in her throat; she dropped the letter and started shaking. James put  
  
his arms around her trying to calm her down, but it was no use.  
  
The doors of the great hall opened, and the second pretties' girl in Hogwarts walked back into  
  
her past. Joey Porter stood at the entrance at the Great Hall, everyone just stared. Lily got up  
  
out of her seat with James letting her go, she started to walk to Joey. Everyone stared at Lily  
  
thinking that she would just take Joey in her arms and start crying with joy, but Lily didn't do  
  
what everyone was thinking. Lily walked up to Joey, whose arms were open in a hug for, as  
  
silence rushed had thought the crowd. Lily was and inch away from Joey's face, then Lily  
  
slapped Joey. As Joey stood there taking this, she looked into the angered eyes of her only  
  
sister she ever knew, who whispered three words that Joey never wanted to here ever.  
  
"I hate you." Lily whispered, and then she ran out of the Great Hall crying.  
  
Joey started to go after her when James grabbed her arm,  
  
"You have no idea what you've done to her, or to me. You have no idea what you did to  
  
Sirius." Them James ran after Lily not wanting his girlfriend to do anything stupid like block  
  
him out again.  
  
Joey went to sit down beside Sirius, and when she put her hand on his shoulder, he pulled  
  
away. Sirius stood up, and was a good 6inch's taller than Joey. Al Joey did was look into his  
  
eyes, and saw all her fears coming true as Sirius walked out the door of the Great Hall. Then  
  
Joey turned to Remus, who got up and walked out, her last chance was Peter. Who got up and  
  
spat on the ground where she stood.  
  
"You are now disowned from the Marauders." And Peter too walked out. Then the bell rang for  
  
the first classes of the day. The whole school emptied, leaving Joey Porter forgotten once again.  
  
~I'm back, I re-thought what I said so here I am! I love you all thank-you so uch for all your support! Hope you like it!~ *Kaydee* 


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